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And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it. -Roald Dahl

List to understand, not listen to respond. -Stefan Vok

My wife is fantastic.  She has taught me so much about life and keeps me grounded.  She was the first and only person to observe that I like Curmudgeons.  

Curmudgeon: a noun for a bad-tempered person, especially an old one.

Neighbor

I was lucky to grow up next to a general contractor specializing in new homes and remodeling construction.  He was from Finland and was old school.  

He was trimming a tree with a chainsaw once, and it slipped. He almost cut his hand off.  He did not call 911; he wrapped his arm up with a rag and drove himself to emergency.  The following week, he was back to work. Old school and hardcore!  

He was not what you would call a warm person.  He was tough as nails, hard to get along with, and very quiet.  But (there is always a ‘but’), he did fantastic work, his pricing was fair, and he had an extremely loyal customer base.  It wasn’t easy to gain his respect, but he could be an incredible neighbor and friend once you did.  

Working for him was constantly engaging, whether we were framing an addition, hanging drywall, or building a brick wall.  I was SCARED to death of him, and I worked my ass off.  I remember one time when I was sixteen.  We were framing the back of a room addition about 30` long.  We had the wall framed on the ground, and we had to lift it to stand it up.  It seemed impossible, but he set the vision.  We got the wall about chest high, and he asked me if I was ready, even with the blood vessels already popping out of my head.  I was lifting as hard as I could, then I heard a grunt from him, and the wall stood up. 

I purchased my childhood house years later from my family trust.  I was still in awe of my neighbor/ contractor.  He was old but still worked 10 to 12 hours a day.  I would still help him occasionally on jobs where he needed extra hands, which was an honor.  He was a true curmudgeon, but:

• You knew where you stood with him.
• If you worked hard and did what you said you would do, you would gain his respect and loyalty.  He would be respectful and kind of nice to you.  
• He was honorable.
• He led without being called a leader by gaining respect.  I would follow him anywhere without question. 
• The quality of his work was remarkable!

I have about twenty stories about Curmudgeons to tell, and I will, but this is all for now.  

The fable’s moral is that difficult people can provide amazing results and friendships.   

I am the middle child of three.  I was raised by a very Catholic mother who used guilt and the belt to keep us in line.  I am not saying I had a horrible childhood; how could that be growing up in Redondo Beach, CA?  Boy Scouts and Explorer Scouts was my escape from my house and a way to get outdoors.  

My fables will be true stories, but some names will be changed to protect the poor leaders.  In this case, three great men and leaders (hence the name ‘The Three Amigos’ created a leader in me!  

Mr. Leon Kelly was my Scout Master; his wife, Mrs. Betty Kelly, was my Den Mother in Cub Scouts.  Back in the 1970’s, he was a servant leader.  He saw something in me.  My shyness or lack of confidence could be painful for him to watch.  Nevertheless, he created an environment that enabled me to talk in front of a group of people and become a Patrol Leader.  He did not judge but encouraged, protected, and inspired.  He was never recognized for his contribution; he would never want that, but his selflessness inspires me even today. His son was also in the Explorers, which meant Mr. Kelly was also involved in Explorers.

Mr. Colley and Mr. Holmgren were my advisors in Explorer Scouts.  I liked Mr. Colley, but I loved Mr. Holmgren.  Mr. Colley was a PacBell manager who never stressed about anything and always had fun.  He was in charge but was a leader that created the Vision.  I should write a book about all the fantastic things we did as Explorers.  

Mr. Holmgren was Mr. Colley’s right-hand person.  He did everything and anything you can imagine, from building kayaks to moving buildings.  He was a true gentle giant, 6’2’ tall, 250 pounds of all muscle, and never had a crossword for anyone.  Mr. Holmgren owned a boatyard in Manhattan Beach, CA.  He stored and moved boats for a living.  

This is just a quick story to describe Mr. Holmgren’s character.  One day, we worked for about 10 hours on building a guardrail at a Boy Scout camp.  It was hard, hot, difficult work!  I was 17, and Mr. Holmgren was ~55 years old.  He had been in my life for over three years by this time.  He worked harder than any of us kids but sat down about 8 hours into the effort.  I had never seen him do that before.  I asked him if he was okay, and he told me he was fine, but the continuous pain in his feet was getting the best of him.  

Come to find out, he was a bricklayer in his mid-twenties.  Some scaffolding collapsed, and he fell two stories and broke all the bones in his feet.  Since then, he suffered from continuous pain in his feet, and it got worse the longer he was on his feet.  The interesting thing about this story is that he never complained, and I had no idea about his condition!  

So, The Three Amigos saw something in me.  They made me step out of my comfort zone.  Yes, I said ‘Made Me.’   The Explorer troop needed a President, and they made it impossible for me to refuse.  Leading a group of teenagers (boys and girls) seemed impossible.  But, they provided the framework and support for me to succeed.  I learned about leading versus managing.  

The moral of the fable is to find the potential in people and support them by creating an environment for them to succeed.